I feel like 2020 the word WOKE became prevalent and everybody’s thoughts and actions WOKE from systematic racism WOKE from political views, WOKE from what life was to what life is now. I want also offer or remind you that being woke is a continuous awakening. That being WOKE is always occurring. Our lives can change on a dime, we know that, we also know that our knowledge base can grow beyond measure and If we step outside our comfort zone We can always be learning. Being WOKE is being in the present moment.
WOKE is a continuous action. Take the time to look at a moment and say “What can I learn from this? Do I need to learn patience? Do I need to learn to love? Do I need to learn to breath? Do I need to learn to absorb the things that I am reading, Absorb the things that I am listening to , Absorb the Mantra that I am saying. And do all those things serve me?
So, on this first Monday of 2021, Be WOKE, Be WOKE IN possibility. That my friends is how we continue our awakening, by continuously to be awake in the present moment.
Here I was once again for the millionth time throwing myself on the floor allowing my emotion to wrap me like a body bag. As the memories of past experiences and the failures from those experiences are played like an accordion in my mind, they give my thoughts live ammunition to shoot out words that no longer serve me. The response from all of it sends a rainfall of tears down my face as my throat closes and my chest remains heavy. I look up from my pillow angry at life and ready to blame, in hopes that the anger at the blame will give me some sort of calmness inside my storm. It doesn’t. It didn’t. I still wanted to remember the fear of her hand smacking me across the face, her eyes telling me I’m not worth a two-bit whore, and her voice screaming all my imperfections twenty-four-seven. My youth has trauma. Let me be a victim, a statistic, and broken. But what does that solve. NOTHING!
As I was coming into my own, I would replay those moments several times throughout the day knowing that I am choosing to hold on to them, holding on to the victim mentality, it was easier for me to stay worthless. Because if I become something that meant I would have to work on not being nothing.
I knew I had to find the courage to make the choice to get up, dust myself off, and erase the body outline of myself from where I laid.
So, I began. I thought to myself If I spend half my life feeling and being shit and it led me nowhere, what would it look like if I spend the other half of my life feeling and being of hope and joy. Where would it lead me? I thought, how hard can it be, Ill wake up smile and live HAPPY. I will get up early work out, listen to amazing music, and get my energy flowing. BULLSHIT! IT DOES NOT HAPPEN THAT WAY. It does not work that way, because I can’t just forget what I have endured throughout life up to know. I had to find a way to endure and yet overcome.
I had to dig deep into my hourly thought patterns and figure out a way to disrupt my negative self shit talk every time they came racing in, like a formula one car on its last lap. I had to figuratively pick up a sledge hammer and break down walls that prevented me from trusting myself. But the hardest of all, the thing that was most imperative, I had to forgive my abuser, forgive myself, and decide to start where I was and be present in every moment. To let go and stop living in the past.
When I think about what serves me, I think about high vibrations, connecting to my energy source, and working through my bullshit the moment it comes up by asking myself the “Is that a true statement”. The moment I want to go off on a tangent and feel some sort of shame I ask myself, “Girl is that true, does no one love you?” Nine times out of ten someone always loves me, even when I feel like that someone is me. You see the question is not “does no one love you” the question is why am I feeling like this, what situation has triggered this emotion? Then I break it down. I get down to the nitty gritty, I follow this three P system I created to get thru the negative moments.
Pause– I pause to take a breath, I pause to respond instead of react.
Process– I process my emotions and thoughts. I allow them to be recognized and then flow through me.
Proclaim– I set intention, I proclaim a new narrative, a new truth, & a new mantra, to have loving energy.
This system created a new habit. I stopped deciding to stay in the habit of expecting or thinking the worst. I began to come into my own knowing I was worth more than my past experience. And so are you!
I have always had this saying “thats wuz up.” You might see some of my earlier broadcasting or content using this phrase. I said it, because sometimes in life when it all goes to shit and you truly don’t feel like there is a way out; that is the moment to Embrace life. In all it’s fucked up shit and in all it’s glory. Thats wuz up is not throwing hands in the air and saying fuck it, it is saying well hell… I learned my lesson on that and helllzz yaa i am on the right track.
As the beautiful Kelly Clarkson says, “We are all misfits living in a world on fire.” (NO, I do not have rights to this song). Embrace this life, embrace this moment. Let’s make the best of it. OK Say it with me THATS WUZ UP!!!!
Where you at in life? Are you happy, mediocre, in doubt, or do you have that shoulda mentality. Are you tired of saying “What is wrong with me.”
I am offering you a plan, a plan to to find all the little things that stop you from living your best life. That plan includes work, but isn’t time that you finally do the work to transform yourself, into your best self?
I have created a workbook that will help guide you in finding the facts behind your feelings. This workbook helps you to see that you have the choice, the choice to create. Click on the link below to begin.
Have you been so resistant to change? Have you said to yourself I know I can change but how. Have you tried to A.T.T.A.C.K your thoughts and worth by the horns? Take a look below at the practice of using the tool in the abbreviated for A. T. T. A. C. K.
Awareness: Become aware of triggers, patterns, habits
Thought: Re-route your thoughts to be productive and truth telling
Time: You didn’t create these habits overnight and you won’t change them over night
Action: take action on the areas you have been longing to improve in
Choice: Make a productive choice that fuels your growth not burns it down
Knowledge: Understanding how you operate and what boundaries need to be set is power.
This process of A.T.T. A. C. K has transformed countless clients to transition out of attacking their character and worth to develop healthier habits and patterns by using tools that transformed their mindset towards personal growth. As we become aware of our actions, we can uproot our thoughts to enhance growth. Yes it does take pain staking time, but what do you have to loose. By taking action and developing a process that will guide you in making choices that bring out the best version of self.
Knowledge is power, and if are ready to do the work and gain knowledge of the what, when, how, and why you have feel judged, ridiculed, unloved, and unable to stop the stress of fear to take you over, then this process is for you.
A.T.T.A.C.K the way you talk shit to yourself, A.T.T.A.C.K the way you allow others to take you for granted,
A.T.T.A.C.K those damn old habits and patterns that no longer serve you. Become the best version of yourself and have a conversation with your doubts. Let the doubt know you see it festering inside you, but also let it know that you refuse to allow it to take you over. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Looking back at all the journals I have, some completed others half way filled out and then some with only 4- 5 pages filled in. I begin to question why only 4-5 pages. Then the honest conversation happened. I give up, for some reason or another I give up on whatever goal or desire or dream I had. So I said fuck it, let’s dig deep into this. I grabbed one of those journals and I wrote at the top… Why do I only give 4-5 days to my dreams.
Fear of course was one of them, then I looked at the word LAZY, tough word for me, tough because I know that there are times when I decide to be lazy, because it is to fucking hard to move past my thoughts to believe that I could do it. My thoughts are if I cannot go all the way then why do it at all, and BOOM there is the real reason of the 4-5 days.
I have to go past the 4-5 day marker, but I am not going to do the typical ” FOR 30 DAYS I WILL DO THIS” NO, what I will do is 7, YES 7 because that is past 4-5 days and that is achievement. Once I go past 7 then I will go 10 and so on and so on. I do this for me, for my family, for my happiness. Take this journey with me. The dream might be big, but if we complete it in small steps we will eventually get there or at least we will reach another leg of our journey that builds another dream.- thatswuzup.
So many times in life I set the schedule, I mark on the calendar, I look in the mirror and say this time damn it, this time I am going to take back my oomph.
Every single time it all works out for nine days, YES nine, WHY who the fuck knows. Maybe cause seven is to short and by day eight I am finding the excuses. There is no reason why well-being is not pouring into our experiences. In precise detail in response to all of the things that you and I have identified that we want…. Other than the fact that we are in a bad mood or angry OUR OOMPH is lost to the chuck it Wagon.
I know what your thinking, here you go again Tammy, here you go again on your I’m gonna do it this time round table, but you know what I am doing differently than last time…. I keep on keeping on. I don’t allow the day to wrap me up in a blanket and swaddle me with my binkey in my mouth. I am taking back my OOMPH, if your with me.
No I am not going to plan, I am not going to schedule I am going to feel how I feel and KNOW that no matter how the days goes, it is not going to get away from me.. BOOM drop the mic.